I was going to write about the ridiculousness of drivers but I guess I let it slide. It was really bad and today it was bad too. OK, yesterday wasn't bad, because I spent most of the day at the casino. I like the casino but I'm not a big fan of losing money. What's funny is I get this "mojo" while there and I know when it drains out of me because it just does. It's a hard concept to explain. I start there feeling really good, and then I know when it leaves because I feel a sense of not having any more of that "mojo". Weird hmm?
Today and yesterday and maybe even Tuesday I have felt extreme stress. I'm not sure why. I think about my room and it drives me nuts that I need to get rid of so many things but I'm not motivated to do so. Then I get upset because my house feels so cluttered and filled with things that I should just get rid of. I try to live simply but I realize that's not the case. I have so many things that I should not have bought but at the time I thought it was no big deal. Then I have plans to do things and then I don't have the motivation to do them. Such as cleaning my room, or creating a box for Mom's makeup. Then I have Mom telling me to do things. I'm a 35 year old, nearly 36 year old woman and I still have Mom telling me what to do. On the other hand I know that when the day comes that she is not around, I will probably die right after her. I love her more than myself but she does drive me crazy. :-)
My family is all off except my brother T. T drives me nuts too. This is what I think my problem is: I'm the first born. My mother was the 5th out of 7 surviving kids, my dad was the 5th out of 10 surviving kids and my brother is the baby. That leaves me as the oldest and the most stressed out. My parents and brother live with me, which would shock a lot of people but not us Hispanics. It's kind of expected. They live with me: content that I pay the mortgage, the electricity and that's about it. Can you imagine? My father pays the insurance, the cable, and that's about it. My mother pays the water, her portion of the cell bill (I pay mine), we split on other things such as the lawn mowing. My brother on the other hand; well, he pays $20 a month to me for living in a room that my mother put together. He's living pretty freely. It drives me nuts. He does have two jobs so he's not lazy but he doesn't pull his weight, in my humble opinion.
It's true what they say - writing does make you feel better. So here's what I want to do right now... and what I must do:
1. I must take my dishes to the kitchen and throw way any food left over.
2. I must put away food that my mother cooked.
What I want to do:
1. Cover a box so that my mother can put away her makeup (as if she'll put it away. I have to put away medication that she leaves out FYI).
2. Change the sheets of my bed (they are warm sheets but it's hot outside).
3. Start getting rid of stuff to go to Goodwill or to m
No comments:
Post a Comment